Put on a happy face

It's been a rough week...

Two days after I had the D&C we had a wedding for close friends of ours. It was a beautiful wedding and such a fun party but part of me wasn't completely there. I found myself mentally drifting away thinking about what we had just lost. I felt horrible being selfish about my feelings on our friends wedding day but I just had a hard time putting on a happy face. DH said that I never looked unhappy or like I was sulking but I guess it was just me not being 100% myself. As soon as the wedding was over we went back to the hotel room and I just broke down. DH did his best to cheer me up and it helped a little but I was still very sensitive and emotional.

Going back to work was also tough because I was so exhausted from everything and had zero energy or desire to be there. It was also rough because of course everyone asks how your holiday was and what did you do for New Years...not that I was sharing but I don't think anyone would want to hear what I did for New Years. Again I know this is me sulking but it's just so hard not to have this be the number one thing that's constantly on my mind. I really need a distraction.

Ok enough whining for one night...goodnight