Sad end to the year

Wed 12/30 was our first doctors appointment and I should have been 10wks. After DH had a panic attack during my pap I thought the worst of our troubles was over. The midwife escorted us into the u/s room and as soon as the picture showed up on the screen I knew it was bad news. I stared for what seemed like forever hoping that it was just a fluke and we would see our little one at the proper size for 10wks but we didn't. All we saw was the very early stages of pregnancy. It was absolutely devastating. Our midwife left us alone for a few minutes and I just sobbed in my husbands arms. After she came back into the room she discussed our options and was able to get me an appointment for a D&C first thing the following morning (new years eve).

This morning at the hospital was tough. Although everyone from receptionist, hospital staff, nurses and doctors were nothing but wonderful, every time they talked to me about it and how sorry they were I just lost it. After two hours of waiting for the doctor who was called into an emergency I was finally off to the OR. They had me move over to the operating table and the next thing I knew I was in recovery. My mom and husband were waiting for me in the holding room (they take you there after recovery) and it was so great to see them.

My doctor said the procedure went well and I had minimal bleeding. She also said we just have to wait one regular cycle before we can start trying again. I look forward to trying again but right now I'm just sad for my little one that didn't make it.

I will never forget you and I will never stop loving you.